The Water Fight that Healed a Heavy Heart

Sometimes you just need to have a water fight.

I know everyone says laughter can heal, but really until today, I didn't believe this. I guess I just figured laughter makes you feel ok for a few minutes, but then you're right back where you started before you began laughing. I don't think this anymore.

Rewind 11 weeks, our amazing daughter was born. Our lives changed in a bigger way than I thought it would. We've already got 1 child, how much different could 1 more be? Uh- a lot different!!!! Anyways, our older daughter seemed to be handling her new big sis role very well....too well one might say.... we held our breath waiting for the other shoe to drop. And it did, of course it did, mainly in her behavior right before nap time. Anyways, this time of day turned into a huge battle. Yes, we tried all sorts of things- even just a rest time. Still getting horrible results as nothing seemed to help. One day she'd be great then the next not so much. I write about this not for sleep advice, but so you know where I'm at right now. After almost 3 months of either a nap time battle or exhausted melt down because her sock was not on correctly, I found myself in a very fragile emotional state. I really can't even discuss it with the hubby without crying. I'm sick of watching the love of my life throw a fit every other day over something she has literally been doing her whole life- sleeping! Ah!

I was disappointed in myself for how hard I had to struggle to respond from a place of Love and Patience, which I know is what this little person needs more than anything. I know that in her tears, though she is saying, "Go away!" what she means is, "Why wasn't just having me good enough for you? Why did you think I needed a sister? I need your attention, mommy. Don't you know I love you, but I'm mad at you. I don't know how to handle those two emotions at the same time yet, please help me." Knowing this, also made me feel so much more awful for the times I've lost my patience. So I settled into what I thought was my new skin, just get through the day, make sure everyone is clean, fed, and having fun. But, this isn't me. It's not the girl my parents raised and it's not the woman my husband married. It is absolutely not the mom I want to be- just getting through the day!

So today, my sweet girl got her mommy back. It was like a ton of bricks just lifted off my heart. We went outside to play, this afternoon, on the grass. I noticed our tomato plants needed watering so I brought out the garden hose and let her have at it. While she water watering I began to pull up some grass that had sprouted on our bank (I'm constantly battling the grass there!). She then, accidentally, sprayed my feet- truly an honest accident. It was that moment I chose Love. It would have been easy to say, "That's it! No more watering for you, missy!" But I didn't. I'm SO glad I didn't.  responded instead with a silly, "Hey, watch out I'm gardening here! I don't want to be dirty or wet! So you better not spray me agaaaaaaaiiiiiin." Of course, she instantly caught on to my teasing and sprayed me again. She laughed SO hard- that belly laugh that melts my heart. I laughed SO hard. Harder than I've laughed in a while. The water fight ensued. And, we both couldn't stop laughing.

Colin arrived home from work, mid-water fight and gave me that knowing look of how much we needed that water fight. Then Lill and I sprayed him in the face and we all laughed until it hurt!

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1+1 >2

Yes, I know, 1+1 =2.... Normally. The basic properties of addition do not apply to having multiple children. I have learned this over the last 2 months.

9 weeks ago we met this little squish for the first time!!!

She arrived exactly on time, well if you know my family that means 10-30 min late. (I'm working on it ok! But I'm back a square 1 again with the newbie here!) she came 26 min after her due date. But, I cannot complain because she arrived very quickly and uneventfully, which in my book is a great delivery! At 6lbs 12oz 18.75" she is healthy and figured out nursing pretty quickly resulting in a 5lb 9oz increase in weight over the last 9 weeks!! She also spent that time growing 3.75", which explains all the sleeping and kicking! 

So, like I was saying 2 kids doesn't equal 2 times the work. It is more like 3 or 4 times depending on the time of day and mood of the kids. No one tells you this before hand! (Not that I would have believed them anyway- maybe someone did try to warn us then and we disregarded this piece of wisdom. Oops!)

Aside from the overwhelming exhaustion, that somehow your body just accepts as the new norm, Colin and I both have started to find a rhythm and flow. We've are pretty sure we could negotiate someone down off a ledge. A three-year old is an endless negotiation situation. We can also do even more things with one hand than we could when Lill was a newborn. We've got this whole nb thing under control. It's the three-year old thing that throws us for a loop every few days!

All that being said they are wonderful sisters. 

Lill has takes her big sis role very seriously. She pops pacifiers into her screaming mouth and tries to comfort her. She has explained the rules about the cats: not pulling fur or tails. She has helped with poopy diapers and bath times. And everyday she tells her how much she loves her. I hope that this relationship will grow and serve them well their whole lives.

So, even though it's definately more than twice the work, when I see my girls doing this it makes be forgot about the work and I just melt. I'm proud of them and have more love in my heart than I ever knew possible.

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